Lily Lives
by harryHEARTginny
Summary: James sacrifices himself for Harry instead of Lily. Now Lily and Harry are both alive and Sirius never went to Azkaban. How will the story play out as Voldemort tries to come back? Oh, also, Harry has a little sister...
1. Chapter 1

**Lily Lives**

**Chapter 1**

It was a quiet night at the Potter home, while muggle children ran around dressed as witches and vampires going door-to-door as for candy. Lily and James Potter sat in the living room with their fifteen-month-old son, Harry, who excitedly laughed and clapped as his father produced puffs of coloured smoke to appear out of his wand. Happy nights like these had become rare for the young family, often Lily and James were so stressed about the war and tier inability to do anything because of their being forced into hiding. Although they accepted this because to go out of hiding would mean to risk the life of their son. Which was never an option.

Harry was trying to grab hold of the smoke, but each time he clenched his small fist around it the smoke dispersed, much to the small boys frustration. Laughing at their son's obvious frustration the parents smiled at each other. When suddenly a loud bang and crash could be heard in the front hall. The smiles turned into looks of shock and horror. Lily snatched up Harry, who looked startled, and James ran to the source of the noise without another thought.

There, standing in his home was James' worst nightmare come to flesh. The sinister silhouette of Voldemort stood in the doorway with his wand raised.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him!" James yelled at Lily in the next room, but she stood frozen, clutching Harry to her chest. "Go! I'll hold him off-"

Before he could finish Voldemort through a Killing curse at him, which James only just managed to dodge by diving out of the way. It was after this moment when James felt his stomach drop and his heart stop beating; he had left his wand fifteen feet away in the living room. He didn't dare take his eyes off of Voldemort for an instance but he could hear Lily running upstairs. If he could only get his wand he might be able to distract Dark Lord long enough to give Lily enough time to get away. However Voldemort didn't not intend on giving him that time, and James only had luck and quidditch reflexes to thank as he managed to dodge curse after curse that was thrown at him.

By some miracle James had managed to dodge his way to his wand. The moment it was in his hands he began to release his own curses and counter-curses on the imposing figure. But he knew there was no way he could win a duel alone against Voldemort so, heart racing, he decided to take a chance and turned his back and ran upstairs to where Lily was. Meanwhile casting every shield and barrier charm he knew.

"You can't stop me" said the snake like voice behind him, but James paid no mind and kept running. He knew there was no chance of stopping Voldemort he just needed enough time to make it to Lily and Harry.

Lily screamed when James burst into the nursery. She still clutched a crying Harry to her chest and her wand was raised at him, but when she saw who it was she let out a sob, placed Harry in his crib so she could embrace her husband.

"We don't have long." James whispered urgently. "He will be here before we can get away." He could see that Lily was about to interrupt him but he shook his head and continued. "Lily you need to live and take care of Harry, there is nothing more important." Before she could ask questions he kissed he hard on the mouth, "I love you," he whispered before stunning her. She only had a quick moment of realization before she dropped unconscious to the ground.

The next instant the door burst opened and Voldemort glided in, his snake like features disturbingly calm. He glanced momentarily and Lily's unconscious figure on the floor but didn't react to it, returning his gaze to James, then to baby Harry in the crib, who had stopped wailing but still had silent tears flowing down his round face.

James too took a moment to chance a look at his son, and felt a sorrow so strong he thought the feeling might literally crush him. He knew that there was no way he could fight off Voldemort, he had already been too lucky…

"Please," the young father choked out. "Not my son. Kill me, but let my son be. He's only a baby."

A faint smirk crossed the dark wizards lips. "Beg all you want but I have no use for you and the boy is a threat." He raised his wand, aiming at James' heart.

He didn't understand what possible threat his son could hold, but he kept begging. "Not Harry, please, just leave my son be! Take me! Kill me! But please let my son live!"

"Avada Kedavra!" was the only response he got.

_Everything would be fine_. Sirius tried to reassure himself as he sped through the night sky on his motorcycle, gradually giving it more and more gas as his anxiety rose. Just because _Peter wasn't at his hideout doesn't mean that something happened to James and Lily_.

He had been trying to convince himself of this for the last hour since he had discovered Peter was missing. Peter, who was the Potter's secret keeper, and the only person who could tell Voldemort where the family was hiding.

The small village of Godric's Hallow came into view. Below a few straggling children were heading home after a late night of candy collecting, but Sirius didn't even notice them he was too busy trying to overcome the icy wave of shock and horror that crashed over him as he saw the destroyed and smoking roof of the Potter home. Without thinking he revved toward the ground at full speed, nearly crashing the bike into the garden. Before the vehicle was even fully stopped Sirius was already jumping off of the bike and stumbling at a run toward the door, which had been blown off it's hinges, and into the house.

"LILY! JAMES!" he called at the top of his lungs, but there was no response. His heart was beating so hard he felt it in his ears as his panic rose to level he never knew existed. Then he heard it, the sweet sound that gave him the smallest glimmer of hope. The infant wail of his godson.

Bolting up the stairs, taking three steps at a time, Sirius charged around the corner to where he knew his godson's room was. In the doorway, he stopped and did his best to hold back a sob that so desperately wanted to come out. Upon entering the room the first thing he saw was his best friend lying crumpled on the ground, eyes staring blankly back at him. He didn't need to check for a pulse to know that James was dead. Quickly he looked away and focused on young Harry who had stopped crying once he saw his godfather. Sirius went to the little boy, making sure to avoid the cold body of his best friend. Harry held his arms up to Sirius, who picked him up and studied him carefully. For the most part he looked okay except for a lightning bolt-shaped mark on his forehead, it wasn't bleeding, but it was red and looked painful. Something told Sirius the mark wouldn't go away anytime soon.

"Ugh…"

He spun around at the sound. In the corner of the nursery, hidden under a couple pieces of the caved in ceiling, he saw a flash of red hair. "Oh Merlin. LILY!" he cried, pulling out his wand and rushing to her side with Harry still in his arms.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

The couple of pieces of debris that trapped Lily were raised into the air and with a flick of his wrist Sirius cast it as side as he scrambled to the young woman's side. Except for a couple of cuts and bruises, she appeared to be fine but Sirius new that that didn't mean anything.

Unable to control his relief Sirius pulled her into his free arm and hugged her tightly. At the contact Lily opened her eyes, staring at Sirius.

"Sirius…?" She sounded confused, as though she wasn't sure if she was awake or not yet.

Sirius shifted he slightly so that he could comfortably hold her up in one arm and Harry in the other. "Yes Lily, its me. What happened?"

"H-he came," she stuttered out, her focus still wavering and not quite able to keep her eyes open. "He c-came for Harry." But the sudden thought of her son seemed to have brought her to full awareness again for she sat quite suddenly and yelled. "Harry! Where's my son?" She started turning her head and searching the room violently, but Sirius wondered if she was actually seeing anything.

"It's okay Lily. He's okay, look he's right here."

Spinning back around, Lily finally caught sight of Harry, his face streaked with drying tears. Without hesitation the young mother snatched up her son and cuddled him close to her chest, bowing her head over him so that her hair fell as a curtain around them.

After a moment Lily slowly raised her head while continuing to look down at the green-eyed baby who stared contentedly back at his mother. "Where's James then?"

The question caught Sirius off guard. _How to tell her?_ "Um… "

Before he could say anything else Lily must have caught is tone for her head shot up to look him straight in the eyes. And once she was looking at him he didn't have to say anything more. He watched as disbelief and horror marred their way onto her beautiful face. Slowly she turned her head away from him to scan the room. Sirius could not bring himself to follow her gaze, but flinched when he heard the strangled gasp.

In an instant Harry was back in Sirius' arms and Lily was crawling over to where James' body lay in front of the crib. "No… NO!" she cried, holding her husbands face between both her hands. Sirius didn't want to think about how cold the body must be by now. "James, no. You can't be dead… You have to wake up. PLEASE!" Lily was sobbing now, burying her head into James' neck fists clenched in his shirt. Harry had begun to whimper in Sirius' arms now as well, upset by his mother's distress. Rocking his arms gently, Sirius tried to calm the baby down.

Meanwhile Lily was continued to sob and pleading with James to not be dead. "C'mon James, you can't be gone. You can't! I need you here, with me. _Harry_ needs you. We were supposed to get through this together! Together James!"

Sirius couldn't take it anymore, Lily had gone hysterical and listening to her desperate cries was breaking down whatever mental stability he had left and grinding it into fine pieces. Cautiously he stood careful not to jostle Harry too much as the young babe had somehow managed to go to sleep. He placed a hand on Lily's shoulder but she did nothing to react and continued her heart broken sobs. Knowing that she would never listen to him, Sirius tightened his grip on Lil's shoulder as well as on Harry and turned on the spot, Disapparating without a word.

**So here's the first chapter, let me know what you think. Despite this being an AU I am going to try and keep it as cannon as possible **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

With a crack they arrived in the lobby of Saint Mungo's. Lily was still screaming, but now her shrieks were directed at Sirius. She hadn't wanted to leave her husbands side, and if it weren't for the fact that the man was currently holding her son Lily would have hexed him.

"Take me back! I can't leave him! What if he wakes up? I need to be there!"

All around their were people in the Lobby staring, some got up hesitantly as though they were unsure if they should help, and if they should who was in need of assistance Lily or Sirius?

Sirius only had to take her reprimanding for a minute before all of the emotions building up inside Lily became too much, her head throbbed and her heart raced, and suddenly everything went quiet and faded to black. She felt her knees give out from beneath her and Sirius' arm catching her around the shoulder before unconsciousness consumed her.

"Where's a Healer?" Sirius called out, struggling to support Lily's dead weight in one arm while not dropping Harry from the other. A mediwizard in blue uniform robes rushed forward and took Lily from his arms while a mediwitch levitated a gourney towards them, a healer rushing after her. They got Lily onto the bed and the Healer did a quick check on her vitals before instructing the mediwitch on what to do and where to take Lily. He then turned to Sirius. "Are you family?" he asked.

He shook his head, "No, friend, and this ones godfather. My name is Sirius black"

The healer directed his attention to the sleeping baby in Sirius' arm, taking note of the angry red mark on his forehead. "I am Healer Dobs, may I ask what happened?"

Sirius regarded the healer for a minute, trying to decide how much he should say. Dobs was a middle-aged man with brown hair streaked with silver, he looked exhausted, but still seemed alert and friendly. "They were attacked by Voldemort," Dobs flinched, Sirius ignored this. "James, Lily's husband, was killed, and Lily was knocked out and buried under some ruble when I found her. "

"Voldemort attacked them himself?" Dobs didn't look as if he believed him.

"Yes."

The healer didn't look like he knew how to respond to this, so instead decided to focus on his job. "How is the boy? He should be examined just incase of undetected injuries."

Not arguing Sirius handed Harry over to a mediwitch who took Harry into a nearby examining room. Sirius followed her with Healer Dobs trailing behind. Sirius leaned against the wall by the door to the room while the mediwitch examined Harry; prodding with her hands and swishing her wand in the infants direction, Dobs hung back closely watching her progress. After a couple minutes however the Healers brow pulled together and creased. "What's the matter Maves?"

"The scar on his forehead," said Maves. "It won't heal over. I have tried every mending spell I know." She looked nervously at Dobs and then Sirius. "I think it must be a cursed scar."

Dobs nodded. "You might be right." Stepping forward he pulled out his wand and began to trying a couple of spells himself, but to no avail. Chewing on his lip, Sirius began to wonder if he should be worried.

"Is something wrong with my godson?" he asked, trying not to sound distressed.

The healer turned, abandoning his efforts. "It doesn't seem like it. As far as I can detect there has been no bodily or mental damage to the boy. What I can guess happened was when You-Know-Who tried to kill him the curse backfired for some reason, only leaving this scar." Looking absolutely dumbfounded and amazed, Dobs turned back to stare at Harry. "He must be a spectacular boy to survive the Killing Curse."

Sirius had no comment. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle these opinions or even if he was the one who should be. Surely Dumbledore had already heard about what had happened and would be able to deal with situation swiftly and efficiently. So instead he asked, "Does that mean he's okay then? Can I take him to see his mother?"

"Yes, well I can't see a reason to keep him here." Dobs began slowly. "You should watch him carefully for any unusual behavior. As for visiting Mrs. Potter you will have to wait for the go a head from Healer Barns, who is in charge of her. I don't see that being very long. You may wait in the lobby."

So without further comment Sirius picked his godson up from the examining table and carried him out of the room and into the lobby where they settled down in a hard plastic chair and Harry once again fell asleep, occasionally bring up one of his tiny little fists to rub at the scar on his forehead. Only two minutes had passed when a man around Sirius' age came bursting in through the hospital doors. He was dressed in shabby and threadbare wizarding robes and had a drawn, tired face. At the sight of the man Sirius' mind went blank and he wasn't sure how to react. For months Sirius had been distancing himself coldly from his longtime friend Remus Lupin because he had suspected the other man of being the spy they knew had infiltrated the Order. But now, after the nights events, Sirius knew that he had been wrong, Lupin was not the friend who had betrayed them, someone else was and he had every intention of hunting down that someone as soon as he knew that Lily and Harry were safe.

Having spotted his friend Remus approached cautiously. He knew that Sirius had suspected him of being a spy and he wasn't sure if he now realized this was not the case. But once he spotted Harry in Sirius' arms he moved more quickly, and Sirius stood to greet him.

"Dumbledore told me what happened," he gasped. "I-I can't believe it James-" Remus' voice caught and he took a deep breath to steady himself. "How's Harry? Where's Lily?"

Deciding it would be easier just to explain everything he knew from the beginning Sirius explained to Remus how he had gone to check on Peter and that when he wasn't there he immediately went to the Potter's home and what he found when he was there. Somewhere in the middle of the story Remus had collapsed into a chair putting his face in his hands. It was only when Sirius had finished that he looked up, total despair clouded his eyes, but there was something else Sirius recognized there; rage. "So it was Peter then? Peter is the one who betrayed us?" shaking his head. "I can't believe it! I mean we all knew he wasn't the bravest of us, but I never would have thought he would switch sides."

Sirius' voice was cold as steel. "No, I don't think any of us did, but don't worry, I'll find him and make him pay for what he did to James, Lily and Harry."

It was at this moment that a Healer walked into the Lobby. Sirius recognized him as the Healer who had taken Lily away a short time ago.

"How is she?" he asked the approaching Healer.

"She will be fine. She suffered no permanent damage; a couple of broken ribs, scrapes, and bruises. The worst of her injuries was a blow she seemed to have received to the side of the head. The baby seems to be completely unharmed."

"Well we know that," said Sirius. "I already talked to Healer Dobs."

The Healer, who Sirius remember was called Healer Barns, looked confused for a moment when dawning suddenly came over him and he looked slightly uncomfortable. "Oh I'm sorry I assumed you would have known. It appears that Mrs. Potter is pregnant. Two months along now."

"What?" Sirius couldn't believe it.

"No…" Remus groaned.

Both men's head's swirled with thoughts of Lily and a new baby, and James, James being dead and gone, unable to be with her and help her raise their children. At that moment Sirius wasn't sure if he felt stronger hate for Voldemort , who took James' life, or Peter who sold them out. But for now, with Harry in his arms, Sirius did his best to remain calm so that he could be there for Lily.

"Is she awake?" Remus asked anxiously. "May we see her?"

"I would like her to rest." The healer said, and continued before the two men before him could argue. "But she has been asking for her son, so I can permit you five minutes, but then I must insist you let her be."

Realizing this is the best that they were going to get, the followed the healer to Lily's room. With a gentle tap of the door the Healer opened the door. "There are some people here to see you Mrs. Potter."  
When they entered the sterile hospital room it was to see Lily sitting up, propped against a pillow, her head wrapped in bandages and her eyes with dark shadows under their red rims. To Sirius she looked more broken than he had ever seen her, and he had seen her when she got the news that both her parents had been killed in a Death Eater attack.

She watched them come in. "Remus," she said. "I'm glad you came. Sirius, how is Harry? Thank-you for watching him for me."

"Of course," He said gently, putting Harry in his mothers waiting arms and kissing Lily on the top of her bandaged head. "The Healer said there is nothing wrong with Harry, but that the scar on his forehead is left over from the curse Voldemort tried to put on him, and they can't remove it."

Cuddling Harry to her chest, she said, "That's okay, as long as he's still healthy."

"How're you feeling Lily?" Remus asked.

"Exhausted." Was her one word answer.

There was a long uncomfortable pause where Sirius and Remus both struggled with how to bring up the topic on both of their minds.

"Lily," Remus began before stopping himself for a minute to figure out how to best word his question. "We were talking to your healer and he told us," another pause. "He told us about the baby."

Immediately Lily's eyes filled with tears and she buried her face in Harry's already untidy black hair. Her shoulders shook slightly and a tight knot form Sirius' stomach. Over the years he had come to see Lily as one of his closest friends, but also more than that, he had also developed an older brother protectiveness over her. And to see her hurting so deeply cut him, and he felt a physical pain as he watched her clutch her son, quite tears dripping from her face onto his nose.

Remus had always been better at offering comfort in these sensitive situations and now he moved to sit next to Lily on her bed, but didn't touch her yet. Following his lead, Sirius sat at the end of her bed by her feet.

After allowing Lily a couple of minutes to gain control of her self again, Remus said, "Lily I promise that we will do everything we can to help you and the children."

"He's right," Sirius agreed. "You can come and stay with me for as long as you like. I have plenty of room for you and the new little one."

Sniffing, Lily lifted her face from Harry's hair. "Thank-you Sirius, Thank-you Remus. I don't know what I would do without you guys."

Smiling gently and her Remus patted her shoulder and kissed the sleeping Harry's forehead. "The healer only gave us five minutes with you, so we had better get going." He said, getting up from his spot beside Lily. "Make sure you get some sleep and listen to what the Healers say. We will come back in the morning to get you."

"I will." She was glad that they weren't pushing the topic of her and James' unborn child any further; she didn't think she'd be able to handle it.

Sirius got up and kissed Lily on the head once again. "How about I take Harry back to my place. I'm sure he will sleep much more soundly there than here."

It didn't look, at first, as if Lily wanted to be parted from her son, but then she nodded and handed Harry back into Sirius' arms.

"Yes," she conceded. "Thank-you Sirius."

Harry stirred slightly in Sirius' arms but then settled back into his deep sleep. "Remus why don't you come to my place tonight to help me with Harry."

"Of course," Remus agreed.

With that they said their goodbyes to Lily who was already slouching in her pillows. As they walked out they passed a nurse with a tray of potions for Lily who was entering the room.

Then, both feeling very tired, they apperated to Sirius' place to finially take some time and process the fact that one of their friends was dead the other a traitor. And as the night went on Sirius' resolve firmed and he knew exactly what he had to do.


	3. Chapter 3

After Sirius and Remus left with Harry, a mediwitch came in with a tray full of potions for her; blood replenishing potions, calming draughts, pain relieving elixirs. Lily took them all without too much trouble, except for the sleeping draught. She wasn't ready to sleep yet, she felt like she had to process what happened before she could allow herself to succumb into unconsciousness. It took a bit or arguing and promises that she will get sleep on her own, without the help of the medication, until the nurse finally gave in, leaving with her tray of emptied potion bottles.

For an hour Lily lay in her hospital bed sometimes crying, sometimes clenching her fists in anger, or sometimes staring blankly at the wall across from her completely numb to events of the evening. She was actually beginning to get frustrated with her inconsistent emotional reaction. She wasn't sure if it was normal behavior for a new widow or if her pregnancy had something to do with it.

Thoughts of the new baby began to flood Lily's mind.

It had been a month ago when Lily discovered that she was pregnant. She had been excited and terrified at the same time. She had always wanted a large 4family, but they were currently in hiding from Voldemort who wanted to kill her infant son because of some stupid prophecy. So the thought of bringing another innocent child into the dangerous world of the time wasn't a comfort to her. Most of all she was nervous for what James would say. She was expecting him to feel at least some of the distress she was at the news, but she had been wrong. If James felt any negative feelings at the news the he was going to be the father of their second child he didn't show it, not even a little bit. He actually jumped up and down like a little kid, yelling excitedly and picked her up to spin her in a circle while kissing her.

Smiling slightly at the memory, Lily felt a tear roll down the cheek, following the remaining salt strained path of her previous tears.

James had been so excited, and she had been so happy to know that he would be by her side. But now- now she was on her own, a widowed single mother with two children to raise, and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to do it.

"My deepest condolences," said a voice from the door.

Looking around to the door Lily saw the unmistakable form of Professor Dumbledore silhouetted against the light in the hospital hallway.

"Professor," Lily greeted tiredly as he approached her bedside. She had actually been wondering when the old man would pay her a visit.

"I take it that Sirius was not in fact your secret keeper as originally planned, seeing as I heard that he brought you here and left with your son." Lily shook her head, not bothering to ask where Dumbledore got his information; she knew he had his sources.

"No," her voice was thick. "Sirius thought that Peter Pettigrew would be a better choice, less obvious. James and I agreed, but obviously we were wrong-"

At the last word a sob had escaped and Lily looked at the ceiling to keep from crying.

Dumbledore nodded understanding, but didn't say anything. He seemed to be waiting for Lily to say something, so she asked what had been in the back of her mind since she woke up in the devastation of her own home. "What happened? How come Voldemort was able to kill J-James, but not Harry?"

Still Dumbledore didn't speak; he stood and seemed to consider how to answer her question. Until finally he answered, "It appears the sacrifice your husband made, by this I mean throwing his life in front of Voldemort in an effort to save Harry, is what indeed saved your young ones life. I believe that this act done by your husband brought forth a piece of old magic, magic that Voldemort had long forgotten and underestimated."

Lily wasn't sure she was following, "What do you mean?"

"Love, Lily," Dumbledore said kindly. "No matter what you hear, the magic of love will always be the strongest. It is this magic that protected your son. So that when Voldemort turned his wand on Harry and cast the curse that was meant to kill him it backfired, and ricocheted back on the caster."

"So what does that mean. He's- I mean- Is he-" Lily was holding her breath, not daring to say what she was thinking.

"Dead?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, and Lily nodded. "For now I suspect yes."

"For now?" It was Lily's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"It's my suspicion that one day he will return," and at the sight of Lily about to ask for further elaboration, he pushed foreword. "For now I would prefer not to divulge what I think, in case I am wrong. Right now I have no solid proof to prove what I suspect. But be assured if things become clearer to me I will inform you."

She wasn't happy about it, but Lily conceded, her head hurt too much to argue with the old man. "What about Harry? The doctors said that there was no damage done by the curse, but I-"

"And they are right," Dumbledore agreed. "However, should I be right, and Voldemort does return. I suspect that that scar of his should serve as some sort of connection between him and Voldemort. If that should be the case, we will of course take the appropriate steps to make sure Harry remains safe and unharmed."

Lily had nothing to say to this.

"Now as you might have guessed many rumors have been going around the wizarding community, most of them surprisingly resemble closely with the basic truth; that Dumbledore has been defeated and it was by your son. I suspect the news will be in the morning Prophet and that you will have reports banging on your hospital room door come the morning."

"I don't want to speak to any reporters," was her tart reply.

"I should think not," Dumbledore agreed. "I am sure the hospital staff will do their best to keep them at bay."

There was a short pause during which a sense of hopelessness swept down upon Lily seemingly out of nowhere and so strong she didn't think she could take it. "What am I to do Professor? James is dead, Harry is still just a baby, I'm pregnant, and our home is in shambles."

For the briefest of moments Lily saw a shadow of deep sadness that almost mimicked her own pass over the older mans piercing blue eyes. "There is no denying that you have a hard path before you Lily, but you have many friends, Sirius and Remus the best among them, who I am sure will do everything they can to help you. I also have it on good conscience that you are strong capable witch who has taken everything life has thrown at her in stride and have no doubt you will continue to do so."

Lily was touched by her former headmasters faith in her strength, but also a little annoyed, she had been hoping the older, wiser man would have a practical answer to her problems; of course this was just a childish wish. She had long since known that that wasn't how life worked.

With a touch of his hand to her shoulder, he said, "I shall leave you to rest. Should you ever need anything, don't hesitate to send an owl."

Already feeling her eye lids get heavy she nodded as the Headmaster turned away. She was asleep before he was even out of the room.

A second visitor came that night a few hours before dawn. Lily was fast asleep in her hospital bed when her door opened and someone slipped inside unnoticed. The dark figure stood over Lily for a moment, watching her sleep, until she began to stir, perhaps sensing in unconsciousness someone nearby. Groggily her eyes fluttered open and after a moment they focused on the intruder. She was about to scream when her eyes finally adjusted to the dark and she recognized the man in front of her. "Severus! What are you doing here?"

Severus Snape was ashen faced and looked quite ill. "I had to come see that you were alright."

"I'm fine," Lily assured, still confused by Severus' presence. She hadn't seen let alone talked to him in years. "Where have you been?"

"You didn't want me around."

Never in her life had she seen her old friend look so pathetic and sad. "Well can you blame me? I was patient Severus, I was kind to you, I thought I was being a good friend, and then you turn around and called me a mudblood. I was angry and I was hurt."

The look of discomfort was becoming more prominent on Severus' face by the second. "I-I," he stuttered. "I'm sorry, Lily, I'm so sorry."

Lily smiled softly at the apology. "That's all I wanted to hear."

She wasn't sure how she expected Severus to react to her forgiveness, but what she got definitely wasn't it. "No, that's not it. You don't know what you're forgiving."

"Severus-"

"You don't! I have done worse things then call you a mudblood." He was visibly shaking now, and Lily wished he would come close enough for her to touch him, but he remained out of arms reach. Lily wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. It had been so long since she and Severus had become estranged that she no longer new how to act around him.

"It's my fault," Severus finally said in a small voice.

"What's your fault?" Lily asked.

"This night, all that has happened. It's my fault."

Despite her sudden confusion, Lily felt her heart stop in sudden anxiety.

"It can't be.."

"It is, Lily! I'm the one who heard that damned prophecy, I'm the one who told Voldemort about it!"

Her head spinning at the confession, Lily pulled her knees into her chest and held her head in her hands. "No, no, no," she groaned.

"Please Lily," Severus begged, pushing forward. "I didn't know that he would go after you. As soon as I found out I went to Dumbledore, asked him to protect you."

"Just me?" Lily asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper, but Severus heard her.

"And you son," he said desperately.

"But not James."

It wasn't a question; Lily knew that Severus and James had never gotten along.

"You know," she continued in a cool-calm voice that almost frightened Severus. "I'm pregnant again." A look of desperate shock and anguish crossed her old friends face. "When we found out James and I were trying to decide on a godparent for the new baby. Since James got to pick for Harry he thought it was fair that I got to pick for this one." She was now playing with a loose thread on the hospital sheet, purposefully avoiding Severus' face. "I decided that I wanted you to be the child's godfather," she heard a small gasp. "James refused at first, of course. Said there was no way he would let a Dark Arts loving Death Eater be the godfather of his child. But I never believed you were a Death Eater, and I told him as much. I told him that despite your faults you would never purposefully hurt innocent people. It took over a week, but I fought for you and James finally agreed."

Finally Lily looked up at the man before her. "We were going to send you an owl closer to when the baby would be born. James was ready to apologize for being a prat at Hogwarts and try to make amends with you."

"Lily I-"

"But now he's dead!" the tears were flowing freely again and Lily felt a rage she had never known before. "I can't believe I had so much faith in you, meanwhile James was right, and now because of you he's dead! I'm so stupid!"

"Please, Lily I didn't know…"

"It doesn't matter!" Lily shrieked. "It doesn't matter that you didn't know it was us he would be after, because you had to have known he would go after _someone_." She paused for a breath before continuing in the same cool voice from earlier. "You're right, Snape, I can't and I won't forgive you, so I think it best that you leave, before I don't something I won't regret."

And that was it with out a word, a gesture, or some much as an expression Snape world around and left the room. Leaving Lily to cry herself back to sleep.


End file.
